


One Rule

by agentofvalue



Category: Defiance (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-03
Updated: 2014-11-12
Packaged: 2018-02-19 16:35:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2395301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentofvalue/pseuds/agentofvalue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of how Joshua Nolan—of all people—became a father.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was not satisfied with the emotional connection in the webisodes, so I wrote this. I hope you like it! More parts to come!

She had known little besides pain, and shadows, and their chanting, and the hours spent alone in the dark in the guise of meditation. At some point, she must’ve been a regular Irathient kid, but somewhere in her earliest memories her parents had led her into the darkness and the darkness had devoured everything. Even though, it hurt and was scary and her cheeks were almost always wet with tears, it was her life. She didn’t know that it was wrong until that man with the strong arms had carried her away. 

She hadn’t been able to understand anything but the noise after the door crashed inward. The chanting turned into screaming. They were her screams too. Was it only her voice? She couldn’t tell. She did the only thing she could do and squeezed her eyes closed. The gunshots made her ears ring. She knew people were dying around her. 

Everything had gone still. She opened her eye. 

He was crouching in front of her. He was human and in a military uniform. 

He spoke to her. “Hi. My name's Nolan. It's okay.” She had believed him. He opened his arms. He was unsure, but she knew there was safety his embrace just as she knew that the pain hurt. “Come here.” She dove into his grasp and held so tightly she felt him breathing. “All right. Now, look at me.” He lifted her up. “We're gonna go. That's it.” And he had carried her away. 

He walked away with her lifted above everything. He carried her out of the ceremonial chamber and through the twisting hall of the rest of the compound. He pushed open the heavy front door with his boot and she was outside for the first time in months. She didn’t care they were still on the fringe of the city and that the air wasn’t exactly fresh, but it moved. It wasn’t stagnant. It didn’t have the metallic smell of blood. She saw pale stars in a break in the clouds. 

She released her breath and her shoulders relax. She turned her head to rest against the man’s chest. She closed her eyes. All she heard were his footsteps on the unpaved road and a few shouts of, “No-man! Hey, Nolan! Where are you going?” 

She woke up in an unfamiliar bed and she was alone. The voices that startled her back into reality were angry. Two men were shouting on the other side of the curtain surrounding her bed. It was dark in her little corner behind the curtain, but the fluorescent blurs burned brightly in the rest of the room. There was a commotion on the other side of the curtain too, but it seemed distant compared with the voices. She hid beneath the thin blanket. Anger usually meant pain. It meant she’d done something wrong. The voices would come closer and they would wrench her from her hiding place and then the pain. She waited. 

“No! You can’t.” 

“Nolan, think about it. She’s a kid.” 

“Exactly! You can’t throw her to the wolves.” 

“For Christ’s sake, now you’re being dramatic.” 

“I’m not. Have you been to one of those camps? She’s on her own. She wouldn’t survive.” 

“But she’s be with her own people. There are Irathients there.” 

“She was with her own people until a few hours ago. Do you think that did her any good? Why’d we save her if we’re just going to dump her?” 

“Save her? Jesus, Nolan, that wasn’t the point. Tonight was about the threat the cult posed. We didn’t even know she was there. By the looks of things, we just made her an orphan.” 

“Eddie, if her parents were in that room and if they were letting that happen to her, then that’s not a bad thing she’s an orphan. C’mon, talk to the CO. He’s not going to listen to me. Make sure she can stay until she’s healthy at least. You didn’t feel her. There’s nothing there, like a bird with hollow bones.” 

Most of the words meant little to her. She understood English, even spoke it, but these men were talking about things she didn’t understand. Orphan was the only clear word. It made her heart skip and it wasn’t caused by sadness. 

“Fine. I’ll ask. But don’t be getting any ideas. This is for the girl, not for you.” 

“Thanks. I owe you.” 

“Add this favor to the pile of things you owe me. Starting with the script from that fight last weekend.” 

“I’m working on it. Unless, you want double or nothing next week?” 

“I want my damn money.” 

“I’m working on it. I have to stay here. The CO was pissed that I walked away from the scene. I have to keep both eyes on her at all times. Captain’s orders.” 

“And somehow that’s not a punishment.” 

The curtain opened and closed again. She saw the light change for a moment. There was a thump and the mattress shifted. Slowly, she pulled the sheet down so she could peek out. This Nolan was resting his boots on the end of her bed. He leaned back in his chair until the front legs were off the ground. He chewed on his fingernails. 

He saw her watching. “Hey, kid. I'll keep watch. You can take the next shift.”

Somehow, she was at ease. He stood guard. He would not leave her by herself. She wasn't alone. Not anymore. 

* * *

Someone clapped Nolan on the shoulder and he woke with jerk. He had his knife in his hand before his eyes were open enough to see it was Eddie. Nolan shoved it back into the holster strapped to his calf. 

“Morning, sunshine. Exley wants to see you,” Eddie said. Exley was their commanding officer. 

It wasn’t morning. It was still the dead of night. He doubted an hour had passed. He stood up and stretched. Nolan glanced down at the kid. She was asleep again, curled up in a tight ball, knees tucked close to her chest, like she’d never had a whole bed before. Or maybe she'd never had a bed at all. Goddamn it. She was so exhausted. Dead to the world, as the expression went. Or the expression had gone? They had new expressions now. 

He didn’t want to leave her. He hadn’t let them examine her last night. She’d fallen asleep in his arms and like hell was he going to let anyone wake her. She didn’t seem in an immediate danger. A few cuts and bruises and her wrists were red raw and, of course, she was thin as a rail, but none of that would kill her today. He wanted to let her sleep until whatever her life had been was a memory. 

Eddie saw the direction Nolan’s eyes traveled. “I’ll stay. No one will touch your spoils.” 

Nolan nearly decked him. The anger boiled up from zero to sixty in under a second, but he couldn’t pinpoint where the rage came from. He liked to have a good reason for hitting people. In his own mind, he was very rational. He followed different rules than everyone else. He loved a good fight and he was good at them. The world slowed down and clicked into place. Stay one step ahead. Know how your opponent thinks. The little voice inside his head never told him not to fight; it said fight better. This time it did warn him that now was not the time to be fighting. He kept just enough control to merely yank on Eddie’s jacket. 

“She’s a person, understand?” he growled. He kept his voice low so he didn’t wake her. 

Eddie pushed down with an elbow to force Nolan to let go. “Take it easy. I was joking, No-man.” 

“It’s not a joke. Don’t let them do anything to her, okay?” 

Eddie rolled his eyes, the way he always rolled his eyes at Nolan and then went along with whatever he was planning. Nolan trusted him for the time being. If he trusted anyone in this new world, it was Eddie. 

“Hurry back,” said Eddie. 

“Thanks, Uncle Eddie.”

He rolled his eyes again. “Don’t call me that.” 

“Oh yeah, that kid gonna be running around here calling for Uncle Eddie.” 

“Fine, what does that make you?” 

Nolan winked. He was using the light talk to cover the strange panic her was feeling. What will happen to her? 

He trudged out of the medical facility. Calling it a building would be too generous. It was a tent with thick, stretched canvas walls. The CO’s quarters was another, much smaller tent on the other side of the long, low barracks. The sun was beginning to rise, turning the sky the palest pink behind the mountains. He’d been to Denver before the Arch Fall to go skiing once. 

There was nothing left of the city. The new settlement—though still called Denver—was higher in the mountains, the permanent growth of a human hiding place. Votan lived here now too. The wilds were always more hospitable to delicate friendships of the different species. You need each other to survive out here. It didn’t matter what planet you’d been born on. 

Exley was waiting when Nolan rounded the corner of the barracks. He was still in a full battle gear, probably to intimidate Nolan. Exley was younger than half the men by five or six years. He was always trying to intimidate everyone. It didn’t work. He wasn’t tall or small or thin or muscular. Men like Nolan and Eddie were passed over because, even though their skills out stripped Exley’s, they didn’t listen. They liked this lawless new world a little too much. Nolan knew it and Exley knew it. 

“I had to get the girl safe,” said Nolan before Exley even tapped his boot with impatience. Then, for good measure he added, “Sir.” 

“If I were to write this up, it would be a dereliction of duty,” he said in deep tone. “I’m sure there are enough marks on your record for that to have serious consequences.” 

“The people up top are aware of my record. I don’t deny who I am. I stand by my actions and I saved that little girl.” 

“We killed her parents.” 

“Did you see that place? Did you see what they were doing to her? She was scared and abused.” 

Exley sighed. “What’s done is done. I don’t want to get into that. I can only remind you that walking away in the middle of a mission is not acceptable.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Dismissed.” 

Exley returned to this tent. 

“What’s going to happen to her?” asked Nolan. 

Without turning, Exley said, “She can stay in the camp until we move on. When our new orders come in, we’re not taking her with us.” 

Nolan nodded even though Exley was gone. He’d have at least a couple of weeks to make sure she was healthy and had a place to go. That was plenty of time. He scratched the back of his neck. Right? At the absolute worse, she might be strong enough to survive the camp. She seemed like a tough kid. She’d made it this far. 

He started back across the empty yard. Everyone who was on duty was at the compound and everyone who wasn’t had probably gone straight to their bunks. These nighttime raids were awful. It was peaceful in the camp the way it rarely was. No one around. The sun just beginning to show its face. No sounds rollers or people. Just his boot on the gravel and the wind in the trees. 

He drew closer to the medical facility. Then, he heard it. A scream rent the stillness. It was sound that broke his heart into pieces. It was fear in a single sound. There was only one person within miles that could be making that noise. Nolan started to run. If anyone touched her…

He burst into the room. The lights were dimmed. Everyone should still be asleep. It took Nolan a moment in the half-light to find the bed and then to find the girl. She was tangled in the metal supports of the collapsible bed. The staff, a few other injured soldiers were keeping well clear. Eddie was trying to coax her out, but Nolan doubted she could hear anything over her own voice. Nolan cleared the space in a few steps and he yanked Eddie away. She was cowering against the wall with her knees pulled against her chest and her face buried. Her crying seemed to shake her entire body. 

He was at a loss. Nolan could shoot. He could kill with a knife, with his bare hands. And he had on many occasions to protect others or himself. He was strong; he could lift and carry and drag others to safety; he was physical. That’s where he felt comfortable. Yet this child, this little girl, needed none of that anymore. He did the only thing he that made sense. He embraced her. He was on his knees beside her and he held her. 

“I’m right here.” The words felt wholly inadequate. 

Again, he was struck by how small she was, how light. She stopped screaming and now it was just her sobs and heavy breathing. 

He realized he didn’t even know her name. He wanted to talk to her. That’s probably what everyone else would do in this situation. He wanted to use her name. 

* * *

Everything that seemed fine when she’s fallen back to sleep. She slept deeply. For the first time in her life, there was no one to pull her from her dreams. No one to keep her awake for days on end for some purpose she never understood. No reason for her dreams to be fill with the things they’d done to her. She’d almost slept too soundly because when she woke to a bang of something being dropped her didn’t know where she was. 

The one thing she did remember was Nolan’s face and it wasn’t there. She’d panicked and shadows swallowed her. Though it had never done her any good before, she screamed. Then, Nolan came. He held her and it was so new for her. He didn’t want anything from her and didn’t try to make her do anything. 

He spoke, “I’m right here.” 

The words caused the strange sensation inside her again. The feeling that she would be safe as long as Nolan was there. She couldn’t stop her crying, but she wasn’t so scared anymore. Her energy seemed to wane. Everything in her body that had roused her so violently was evaporating. Her eyes started to feel heavy again. She leaned her head against his shoulder. 

His cheek brush against the top of her head. “You’re safe. No one’s gonna hurt you again. I’ll make damn sure of that.” 

She closed her eyes and slept again. 

* * *

Her head rested against his shoulder and Nolan liked the way it felt. Here was something good. Here was something he didn’t have to fight for. They had stayed on the floor until she was fast asleep again and his ass went numb. He moved gingerly so not to wake her and lifted her back to the bed. He stayed by her bed until the rest of the ward was wide-awake. 

Someone one kitchen duty handed out breakfast trays. Nolan left the girl’s bed just long enough to steal two. It was until came back with a tray balanced in each hand, that he realized he had no place to put them. 

“Hey,” he said in a loud whisper. “Hey, kid.” 

She opened her eyes. She didn’t seem to be surprised to see him standing there, like an idiot, in front of her. 

“You hungry?” he asked. 

She sat up and the sheet fell away. He also realized she was still wearing that ratty dress thing that looked like a prison uniform. He’d have to get her something better. 

She didn’t seem to care about what she was wearing. She took the tray and greedily started wolfing down the roll and oatmeal. Nolan knocked his own roll on her tray and then dropped into the chair to start on his own breakfast. 

“So, kiddo, what’s your name?” he asked after a long pause. 

She kept eating as if she wasn’t listening. He didn’t push her. After what she’d been through, she could take as long as she’d like. 

When there wasn’t a crumb left, he gathered the trays. “Be right back,” he said and pushed through the curtain. 

* * *

Something in her mind told her now. Trust him or lose him. Do it. Do it now. She couldn’t remember the last time she used her voice for something other than screaming. She had to think about. When he asked the question, she needed the time to remember. They called her so many things. 

“Be right back,” he said, taking her empty tray.

When his back from turned, she took a huge breath. “Irisa.” 

He looked towards for a moment, as if to check what he had heard. Then, he nodded.


	2. Chapter 2

Nolan stood guard at the back entrance to the camp. Patrol again. He hunched down further behind the collar of his coat. Winter was coming. He sighed and saw his breath furl out in the cold air. He used to pretend to be a dragon and it always made his sister laugh. 

His weight shifted from one foot to the other. 

A noise came from the brush. Something rustled the branches. Nolan brought the large weapon to his sites. His finger hovered over the trigger. Every muscle was ready to react. 

The red hair was the first thing that he saw. He relaxed as the rest of Irisa emerged, dwarfed in an old jacket with the sleeve rolled up six times. 

“Not even close, kiddo,” he said. “You’ll have to do better if you want to sneak up on me.” 

“Not trying,” she said. 

He swung the gun behind him and leaned against the barrier. “Of course not.” 

She shot him a cold look. Nolan read everything in her eyes. It was all written like a book. She didn’t say much. He smiled back. Her lips twitched. 

It was slow, but he was getting through to her. He knew it. A month had passed since Nolan pulled the little Irathient out of the hellhole. Though still undersized, her cuts and bruises were fading and the marks on her wrists were turning into scars. Her nightmares were bad and even in the daylight things set her off. Nolan spent much of the last few weeks waiting for the panicky scream. 

She had free run of the compound as long as he was there. No one bothered her. That was on advantage of being on patrol. It was boring as hell and he had to watch the other men troop off without him, but Irisa always came to visit. She was supposed to stay in the medical facility, but the staff had more important things to do than babysit. That was Nolan’s job. If he was around, there was someone to blame if she got out of control so the other ignored her too. If he wasn’t there, they told her to go back to the med. tent. No one even tried that hard to make her listen. It’s kind of how he was treated. 

They were alike. Was the pull she had over him? Because he couldn’t explain it. They were bound. He was responsible for her and he didn’t remember how that had happened. He would have to find somewhere for her to stay. The unit would move on soon. Once he was off compound patrol, he’d have more chance to go into the city. He’d find a nice Irathient family for her to live with. They would adopt her and he would check in now and again. Yeah, that’d be nice. 

Nolan tried to watch without her noticing. She did everything with purpose. She crouched down on the balls of her feet in what could be a lazy pose, but balanced and ready to move. Her huge eyes took in everything and her mind process it all. His best guess was that she was about nine. He’d never seen a child be so still and take in so much. Granted he, Joshua Nolan, had not spent a lot of time with kids, but he didn’t know many soldiers with years of training to be so aware. Yet, it wasn’t wonder with which she looked at things. It was fear. The world was out to get her and this was far from a paranoid delusion. Her experiences had taught her that. 

He wondered, not for the first time, what she could’ve been like. She was small and wiry with that shock of red hair. He was desperate to see her smile and hear her laugh. It scared him that it might never happen. Could a happy girl be underneath the pain? 

He bent down across from her, copying her stance. She ignored him for a beat before looking at him with frowned. He exaggerated a frowned back and he pushed his lips out into a ridiculous pout. 

Her frown vanished and was replaced with an ‘are-you-serious?’ look. He copied that too, pushing his eyebrows up as far as they would go. 

“You’re an idiot,” she said. 

He was not expecting that. He laughed. Irisa couldn’t entire suppress a smile. There! He’d seen a sign. It wasn’t a full smile, but it was the promise of one. 

He straightened. He was supposed to actually be patrolling. “Want to come for a walk?” 

She shrugged. He motioned to her and started off around the perimeter. She would follow if she wanted to. 

* * *

‘Nolan is a strange man,’ she thought as she followed him on his patrol. She took extra care to put her foot precisely where he had stepped. In the woods around the camp, the ground wasn't even, but where he stepped was sure to be steady. 

She had little experience with anyone outside the cult, a word she only learned since he saved her. Still, she couldn't figure him out. He expected nothing from her. He smiled when she appeared. He talked to her and didn't seem to care if she answered. Other adults had always wanted something from her and she was punished when she couldn’t deliver. 

She jumped over a called tree as thick as she was. He held back a branch, so it didn’t hit her. She liked it out here in the forest without the walls and other people. 

Most of the soldiers ignored her, except that Exley man. He tried hard to get her to answer questions, but she didn't have anything to say. She didn't understand what he asked. She never knew the purpose of the ceremonies. Why they hurt her. Why the kept her in the dark. She couldn't remember what life was like before. She might have been able to explain about the devouring mother, but he didn't seem to want that. 

With Nolan, there was none of that. He also didn’t treat her like some little toy. The others looked down and talked to her like she might not understand their simple words. She would not break. Not anymore. It didn’t matter how many times she was dragged back into the darkness. 

That was the worst part. She knew that Nolan saved her. He wouldn't make her go back there. Her heart knew that. Her mind didn't seem to believe it. Nearly every day it pulled her back into the shadows. At night, her dreams were nothing but the shadows. 

She shivered despite the dappled sunshine. She didn’t like to think about it. It hadn’t happened yet today, but she didn’t trust it. Maybe if she could just keep following Nolan through the forest. Maybe then she would stay in the light. 

* * *

Nolan trudged through the woods listening to the light, quick steps behind him. Patrols were boring until they weren’t. Today, it definitely was boring. Beautiful, sunny day, close to end of the mission and if nothing had happened yet, nothing would. He was left here to walk in circles and guard their glorified campsite. At least Irisa was along for the trip. It was good to see her doing something, anything. A walk in the wood did everyone some good. That was something his dad taught him a long time ago. 

He whistled a nameless, made-up tune. Anything to pass the time. 

“What’s that?” she asked. 

He stopped, senses suddenly alert. “What? Did you see something?” 

She moved closer. “You were making a sound.” 

“My whistling?” 

“Whistling?” she said as if the word was strange in her mouth. 

He showed her. He put his lips together and blew. A long piercing note filled the air. She tried to copy. Nothing happened. 

He laughed and dropped down to lean against a large tree. His weapon discarded beside him. He whistled Mary Had a Little Lamb as best as he could remember it. She inched closer and sat crossed legged in front of him. 

“You’re quick learner, eh?” he said and as usual he didn’t expect a response. 

Instead, she whistled back. He repeated the tune. She smiled. It was like sunshine splitting the clouds. Her entire being seemed to light up. It was like a wave of warmth. Her eyes sparkled. It was a flash. It was gone moments later, although he’d seen it. If he had a soft spot for the girl before, it was a mountain now. She had him and he was fully aware. One smile and he was gone. 

He was not a good person and he didn’t pretend to be. He was not a soldier out of nobility or a sense of honor, but because he was allowed to shoot things. He was manipulative, a bully, and an asshole and he knew it. However, he’d done a good thing when he’d carried Irisa to safety. If she was the only good thing, then that was a legacy worth leaving behind. 

The one good thing, he’d heard parents say that before. He almost laughed. Him, a dad. That was about dumbest idea he’d ever had. That wasn't in the cards and never would be. Ridiculous. 

He lied back on the ground and tucked his hand beneath his head. Through the gaps in the leaves, he watched the real clouds skirt across the sky. 

“Why don’t we just stay here forever?” he asked. 

She leaned into his view, only a few inches above him. “Live in the woods?” 

“Sure, why not?” 

“Okay.” 

He snorted. “Just like that?” 

She settled down beside him, just below his elbow. “I like it here.” 

"It won't be like that forever," he said, gesturing back towards the camp. "When you're older, you’ll be able to do what you want. I can see you already, out in the Badlands, those wild places other people are scared of. You're braver than every last one of them and you're free because of it. You'll get in your roller and head out into the sunset to freedom. You won't be stuck forever." 

It’s what he’d told himself every day. Every time he was forced to follow some asinine rule, or was punished for doing something right, but messy. This new world was a lot more black and white then people liked to pretend. The old ways were gone. There was no room for politics. It was kill or be killed. The Badlands understood that. Rule followed in the water, grew in the trees, feed the creatures that lived there. Every day was the day he was going to quit the army, get into a roller, and head out; every day he went to sleep in his bunk, say thing tomorrow would be the day. 

Nolan sighed. His absence would be noticed soon. He hauled himself back to his feet. 

"Ready to go back?" he asked. 

Irisa shook her head. 

"Me neither but duty calls." 

He reached out a hand to help her up from where she was sitting cross-legged next to the imprint that had been his spot. 

* * *

She stared at the hand he offered to her. It was creased and strong. She could not envision her life without it. He so quickly become hers. Her protector, her friend. The only one who cared the way her heart told her parents’ should’ve cared. He was the only thing that could make the shadows go away. 

Her world had split open when she’d been carried out of the cult’s grasp. Like the word cult. That was new. She had never known what she lived through was wrong. It had been her life. Her parents had been in the darkness with her. They brought her there. But now, everything was different. She also knew that’s not what parents were supposed to do. They weren’t supposed to stand by and let the pain come, welcome it like some sign. She’d only learned that when Nolan had saved her. He brought her out of that room and she loved him for it. 

She reached back and his hand closed around her. She let him help her up. The warmth seemed to flow over her chilly fingers.


	3. Chapter 3

Nolan started back towards the compound with Irisa walking beside him. As they reached the entrance to the compound, Nolan saw the outline of someone else. Shakto.

“You better go the long way around,” he whispered, but Irisa was already disappearing into the trees. He sidled up to his post.

The other soldier sung around. It was Cruz. He was a huge man with dark skin and passionate eyes. He was also a racist son of a bitch with an irrational hatred of Votan. He was the only one advocating for Irisa to be sent to the refugee camp. He loved rules and did not like Nolan. He was unit chief, meaning he was in charge while Exley was on the mission. What ever Cruz had to say, it wouldn’t be good. They had known each other for a long time; they’d been through basic together. Cruz blamed Nolan for a lot of things. The two of them had never gotten along and it had only got since the end of the Pale Wars.

Cruz didn’t even wait for Nolan to speak. “Where had you been?” His tone was aggressive.

“On patrol. I was doing the perimeter.”

“Bullshit. You should’ve run into Marcus. He didn’t see you.”

“Okay, I was taking a leak. Jesus, is that what you want?”

“I will not tolerate your lip. You get away with too much.”

Cruz had lost his mind. He was blowing this way out of proportion. “I don’t know what you want me to say. I did a lap, and then went to relieve myself. I’m not catching why that is such a big deal.”

“You left your post.”

“C’mon, it was only for a few minutes.” He had been gone for much longer than that, but nothing had happened. It was the middle of the day. No one was going to be sneaking into the compound in broad daylight.

“It doesn’t matter for what reason or for how long.”

“Cool it. Won’t happen again. Cross my heart.” He shot Cruz a grin. He was pushing buttons.

“That’s it. I’m so done with you. If no one else will punish you, I will."

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Double duty. You’ll stay on patrol tonight too.”

Nolan’s jaw fell open. He wasn’t saying he didn’t need to be telling off, but that was excessive.

“Don’t make that face,” barked Cruz. “You don’t care about the rules. I can't stand the way you think you're above them. Do what you want and damn the consequences. You’re a soldier. Act like one. Maybe this will teach you.”

Nolan wasn’t going to learn anything. Extra patrol was just annoying. He started to argue until he caught sight of Irisa’s bright face, watching them from behind a tree. He closed his mouth because he knew he shouldn’t push his luck. He’d been on his best behavior recently. Of course, he didn’t care if he was in trouble. It was for Irisa’s sake. He did it to stay on Exley’s good side. He didn’t think his CO was spineless enough to take any of Nolan’s punishments out on the girl, but he didn’t need to test the theory. Cruz could ruin it all with a bad report.

“Good decision,” Cruz said. Nolan looked stonily back. “I’m going to go return to where I’m supposed to be instead of babysitting you.”

Cruz matched away, seemingly very pleased with himself. Nolan spit. “You didn’t win anything,” he said under his breath.

Irisa appeared at his elbow. “I got you trouble.”

“Nah, I got me in trouble and he’s an asshole.”

She looked at him for a long moment.

Nolan had to speak to break the intense stare. “You better make yourself scarce. Exley and the others aren’t supposed to be back for a while and Cruz doesn’t like either of us. Stay out of sight until you see Uncle Eddie. He’ll get you dinner.” 

She shrugged and wandered away without another word. The light he had seen earlier was gone. He'd do anything to get it back.

“Hey,” he said. She looked back. “That was nice, right?”

She nodded and gave him a small, half smile.

“Can’t say I didn’t teach you anything, right?”

She whistled two soft notes.

“If we had more time, I could teach you all kind of things. How to survive in the woods, how to protect yourself, that kind of thing.”

“Time?” she asked.

“Huh?”

“Why isn't there enough time?”

"Oh kiddo,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. He realized they actually hadn't talk about what would happen next. He assumed she knew. “You know you can't stay with me, right?”

She eyes grew even wider. She took a breath. His focus was so intent, he saw her chest rise and fall.

“The unit will move on soon. You don't belong with the military.” 

She shook her head.

“I'm not explaining this well,” he said. Or started to say. He hadn't even finished a word when she took off.

He called after her, but he couldn't leave his spot. Then he'd really get shtako from Cruz. Crap. Crap. Crap. She was gone by now, off to one of her hiding places. He wouldn't find her even if he went after her.

He had to stay and wait it out. As soon as he was off duty, he would find her. He had to.

He paced. He walked his patrol. Repeat. It got darker. Repeat. The rest of the unit came back again. They entered from the other side of the compound. He watched their outlines troop back, worn out from the mission. They headed straight from the mess tent. The hulking shadow of Cruz crossed the open area, like a boy off to tell teacher.

He couldn't wait. He pressed his radio. “Nolan, to Eddie.”

The radio cracked once, twice. Eddie had heard him.

He waited some more. Nolan breathed deeply. He had never been so frustrated in his life, including that time he'd been shot because a trainee dropped his gun. That girl needed him. He wasn't the best choice, but he was the only thing she had. He'd basically just told her she didn't even have him. God, he was an idiot.

After a few more minutes, he heard the crunch of boots on gravel. Eddie came up the small rise. “Couldn't wait for dinner?” he asked with a grin. He passed over a tin of soup topped with a roll.

“Thanks, but that’s not—”

“Cruz came busting in, practically drooling to tell Exley that you were acting up. That guy really hates you.”

“A mutual feeling.”

“What you do to him?”

“Remember Pine Ridge during the war?”

“That battle is the source of my nightmare. Nothing that day went right. We lost a lot of people.”

“He blames me.”

“How? The Volge were—”

Nolan waved a hand. “That doesn't matter. I need you to find Irisa.”

“What? Why?” Eddie said, sounding annoyed and bored. He was tired of talking about Irisa.

“I said something dumb.”

“As usual.”

“C'mon, Eddie. I'm being serious. I'm worried. I might've really messed up.”

“She squirrels away. No one knows where she goes.”

“That’s why I need you to look. She’s just little.”

“She can take care of herself. You know she bit me yesterday?”

Nolan just looked at him. Eddie sighed. “Fine. But I’m not trying very hard.”

“I owe you,” said Nolan.

“Add it to the list, you bastard.”

Nolan felt a little better as Eddie disappear. He sighed again. His breath was even more obvious. It was cold and getting colder. Her oversized jacket would not be enough against night air. It was just a shell. It would be dark in a few hours and cold and she was alone. Again.

* * *

For a while, it was just the sound of her own feet hitting the ground and the echo of her own name. He had called after her, but she didn’t stop. He was going to leave her behind. He was going to leave her. He was going to leave her. The thought pounded in her head. As wide as the world had seemed a few minutes before, it all came crashing down. 

She’d found the hole in the fence few days before, but hadn’t explored the other side. She had been too scared to wander passed the boundary. Her feet carried her to the gap and beyond. She was in the forest again, but everything had changed. The sun wasn't warm anymore. The breeze wasn’t gentle. The leaves on the trees didn’t marble the light; they blocked it. 

A great, unnamable feeling swelled in her chest and threatened to break her. Her sobs shook her body. The tears blurred her vision. It wasn't fair. Why her? She tried to remember what her life was like before. What had she done in the past that made her parents punish her? Why had they picked her? How could so much be asked of her? She had survived because of Nolan. Why did he save her just leave her behind? What had she done? She was too damaged. Maybe if she could keep the shadows away? 

That plan didn't make her feel any better. She didn't know how to keep the shadows away. She tried. She tried so hard, but still they swallowed her. She was dragged back into the darkness and chaos. 

She tripped and slid down an embankment to a dry gulch. She crashed at the bottom. 

* * *

It was almost an hour later when Eddie reappeared, out of breath. “I found her. I couldn’t get to her,” he said.

“Damnit!” Nolan said. “Where?”

“In the woods behind the storage posts. There’s a hole in the fence. I didn’t fit. Go. I’ll take your post.” Eddie held out his hands for the gun.

The gun was assigned to Nolan, just passing it off was a clear violation. Leaving his post was a clear violation. He stomped his foot. There was a knot in his stomach the size of a fist. The fist squeezed. “We’ll both be in trouble.”

“Who gives a shtako? Go,” Eddie ordered.

It was the order Nolan needed. He passed off the weapon and headed towards storage sheds as fast as he could without running.

He had lost count of the times he arrived somewhere to the sounds of Irisa’s crying. Usually, it was the middle of the night in the medical tent. Her nightmares were violent and terrifying. He knew they took her right back to that horrible place and the way they hurt her. There were triggers during the day too. If the mess tent got too loud, if a weapon discharged without warning, if someone drew a knife unexpectedly.

The large, electric spotlights surrounding the compound lit everything for a few yards around beyond the fence. There was a thin gap in the chain link where two sections didn’t overlap. He wrenched the hole open wide to fit his broad shoulders through. He only had to follow the sound.


	4. Chapter 4

Irisa jerked awake, every inch of her skin tingling. It was getting dark. The last rays of sun snaked through the tree trunks. Where was she? In the woods. The woods where? Beyond the fence. Why? Nolan said...he’d said…She’d run away. She’d run away and fallen down the bank. She was freezing. She needed to get back to the camp.

It was strangely peaceful at the bottom of the creek bed. A cloud of dust swirled in the intricate patterns above her in the light. The rest of the world seemed far away, which made for a nice change. Everything had felt was immediate. Her senses, her actions, everything was about here, this second.

She tried to push herself up but a shooting pain ran up her arm. It was familiar; the sharp burn of skin split by something sharp. She glanced down at a great tear in the jacket with edges stained deep red. She cradled her arm against her chest.

She could feel it coming. The edges of her vision seemed to sharpen. They were coming.

Rolling onto her side, she got up without touching her arm. She looked wildly around to find a way out of the ditch. It wasn’t that steep. She scrambled out and back onto flat ground. Her breath was coming faster, each one more shallow. She had to get back to camp. Where was she? Where was Nolan?

A shadow passed beside her, just out of her line of vision. Or did it? What is there or was it from her passed? No, not now. She needed...she needed...another slid by her and it was bigger than the first.

The sun was sinking lower and lower. It would be totally dark soon. She gazed around, desperately trying to figure out which direction to take. She only needed to find her path back to the camp.

The shadows circled. Her panic was rising, though she was still aware of her body, of where she was. They were getting closer. She heard footsteps that couldn’t possibly be there. She heard the distant chanting. However, she could tell she was standing in the forest.

Then, she saw it. Two broken branches several yards apart. From where she stood, they lined up perfectly. That had to be the direction she had come from. She ran again, and the shadows followed. Her heart pounded against her ribs. The shadows were faster than she was. They were catching up. She saw the electric lights of the compound through the trees. She was so close. They devoured her.

It wasn’t darkness anymore. It was shadows. There were people in the shadows. Lights flashed. They had knives. They hurt her. They made her bleed. And she couldn’t see them. They moved out of sight. She heard their voices. She heard her own voice. They hurt her. They paced around her. They hurt her. The man had the snake. The snake struck towards her. The others had knives.

Irisa screamed.

* * *

It wasn’t hard to find for Nolan to find her. Irisa writhed on the ground, protecting her head. She was dirty. There was blood on her clothes. This wasn’t a nightmare. It was a full-blown episode. He’d done that. He’d pushed her to this place. He collapsed beside her and cradled her against his body. She was so little. 

“I’m here, baby girl. It’s okay. It’s all right.” 

She didn’t know where she was. She fought back, scratching, clawing, pushing him away. But she was so much small than he was. He just held on and kept talking. 

“It’s all right. Everything is going to be okay. I promise, kiddo. Everything is going to be fine. You’re safe.” 

Slowly, very slowly, she stopped fighting. Her sobbing calmed. He didn’t let go. The darkness wrapped around them. Just the two of them against the world. He kept rocking, but even more gently. 

“Nolan?” she asked at last. 

“I’m here,” he repeated. 

She sighed as if in relief. She curled against his chest. He could’ve stayed like that for a long time with the weight of her against him. 

“You’re bleeding,” he said. “What happened?” 

“Fell.” 

He looked down at her, her face half hidden. “I’m sorry, Irisa. I’m an idiot. I didn’t explain it well. I’m not going to lie to you. You need a family, a good one with really nice people.” She tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let her. “Hey, hey, listen to me. It’s not because I want to. I’m not going to just drop you off. I’m going to find you really good place. I’ll write to you all the time. I’m not just going to walk away. I promise. You deserve better than me, right?”

She didn’t answer. Nolan didn’t expect her to. 

“Come on,” he said. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” 

He staggered to his feet with her still cradled in his arms. It was like the first night. He’d carried her through the darkness with only the sound of his footsteps for company. It calmed his own heartbeat. She was a bit banged up, but she would be okay. He didn’t realize how scared he had been that he wasn’t going to find her. There was nothing he had ever wanted more than to keep this kid safe. He couldn’t guarantee happy, but he could do his best with safe. 

They reached the fence. 

“I have to put you down. I can’t get through the hole without my arms. Is that okay?” 

He felt her nod and he set her down. She stood strong. She was a brave kid. He wiggled through first and reached back to help her when someone grabbed the collar of his jacket. Nolan had one guess as to who the hand belonged to as he was flung to the ground. 

“What are you doing?” yelled Cruz, his anger already at a ten. 

“Fixing a hole in the fence,” Nolan answered. He was pushing buttons again, itching for a fight. He bounced up as soon as he found footing. Jesus, why did he keep doing this? Why could he just let it go? 

“I told you already I was done taking crap from you.” 

“Then, leave us alone. We haven’t done anything.” 

“You are not at your post! Again!” 

“There was an emergency. Eddie took over.” 

“You’re dirty haigyi does not constitute an emergency.” Cruz’s eyes were bulging. Nolan might be trying to wind him up, but Cruz was letting him. 

Nolan moved his feet to get a firmer stance. “What the hell as you talking about?”

"You left your post to go off and do God knows what with that girl. I know she’s here somewhere. You left us exposed and—" 

He grabbed a fist full of Cruz’s jacket. "Take that back! She's a child. I would never, never ever—" 

"You've done worse and I've seen you do it," Cruz hissed. 

It was Nolan who wouldn't stand for what was happening. The fact that Cruz thought he could abuse that poor girl. He might not be a good person, but he would have to be truly evil to do that. 

He took a swing at Cruz, but Cruz was expecting it. He ducked and slammed Nolan in the jaw with his own swing. He launched towards Nolan and caught him around the middle. Nolan was lifted off his feet and he thrown backward. He landed with a crack on the packed earth with Cruz on top of him, one of his arms pinned under Cruz’s tank-like frame. That little voice in his head that told him to fight better said he was going to lose this one. It was hard to fight a man the size of bio-man without an off switch. 

He wrapped his legs around Cruz’s waist to try to knock him off. Cruz struck him with a powerful fist. Nolan saw spots. 

There was a shriek. It was a sound Nolan was used to by now. Irisa came rocketing out of the brush and bowled into Cruz. She knocked him over as least enough for Nolan to get out from under his attacker. He scrambled to his feet, ready for Cruz’s next run. When he finally focused, he realized Cruz wasn’t coming after him this time. 

The scene seemed to freeze like a horrible tableau. Cruz, the size of a boulder in comparison, reached towards Irisa. The fear was reflected twice in her shining eyes. In an instant, everything sprang back to life. Cruz’s beefy hand closed around her arm and she crumbled like a rag doll. 

Something inside Nolan broke at the sight. The voice that should’ve told him where to aim a kick turned into a violent roar. Nolan reached for his sidearm, safety off, finger on the trigger. He put the weapon against Cruz’s neck. 

“Let go.” 

“I’m a superior officer. I think about what you are doing,” Cruz warned. 

There were hurried footsteps. Someone arrived on the scene. Nolan didn’t look up. 

“Hey, boys, what’s going on?” It was Eddie’s voice. 

“Heated discussion on the merits of following the rules. Here, I’m demonstrating how breaking a few rules could help save someone,” said Nolan. 

“The enemy, No-man. The goddamn enemy!” Cruz said. 

Nolan pushed the gun deeper into Cruz’s flesh. 

“Not the time, Cruz, not the time,” Eddie said in the casual tone as if they really were having a simple discussion. He moved closer, ready to make a move. “How about you let the girl go and then my friend Nolan will let you go?” 

“All I want,” said Nolan. 

“Count of three?” asked Eddie. “One...two...three.” 

There was a pause before Cruz actually released Irisa. With one hand, Nolan pulled Irisa to him and with the other, holstered his gun. He set her on her feet, but she didn’t seem to be with him. She clung onto his arm with a death grip, like it was the only way she was staying upright. He stood sideways—small target—and kept her slightly behind him. 

Cruz grew to his full height. “I’m reporting this.” 

“Reporting what? We got into a fight and you ended it.” Nolan pointed to his jawline. He could feel it swelling. Cruz’s knuckles were bruised. The evidence backed Nolan’s version. 

“I saw the whole thing,” said Eddie. “Why don’t you come with me and we’ll discuss this further?” 

Somehow Cruz let Eddie lead him away with only a firm hand on his shoulder. The look Cruz threw over his shoulder said very plainly that this fight was far from over. Still, Nolan relaxed. The rest of the shtako storm would come later, but that was sometime to worry about later. 

Irisa still seemed to be somewhere else. Her eyes were unfocused, but she wasn’t panicking or screaming. He shook his arm a little. Even through his jacket, he felt her grip tighten. 

“Thanks for that,” he said, hoping talking to her might bring her back. 

There was a delay before she looked up. 

“You saved my ass, you know that? That could’ve been one hell of a beat down, but you had my back. I appreciate that.” 

As expected, she said nothing. 

“C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up,” he said again. 

With Irisa still hanging on, he made his way to the medical tent. Higgins was on duty, which was a small mercy. She was a tough medic who had little time for anything other than an amputation, but she didn’t mind Irisa as much as the rest of the medical staff did. Irisa slept in the medical tent and everyone was thoroughly done with her flashbacks and nightmares. They were professionals, they didn’t say anything, but they all rolled their eyes or shook their heads in a here-we-go-again sort of way. Higgins just got on with it. 

So, when Nolan untangled himself from Irisa’s grip and lifted her onto an examination table, Higgins just pushed up her sleeves. She even mustered a sympathetic noise when Nolan took off the jacket. 

Irisa seemed unparsed. The cut went from her elbow down the outside of her forearm about a palm length. It was long, but not too deep. 

Higgins started to clean the wound. Irisa winced and gasped and at last focused on what was going on in front of her. 

“How’d this happen?” she asked. Irisa didn’t answer. 

Higgins looked at Nolan. 

He shrugged. “I wasn’t there.” 

She snapped her fingers making Irisa jumped. “I need answers this time. What happened?” 

“Fell,” said Irisa. 

Higgins stopped her work and gave Irisa a withering look. 

With a deep sigh, Irisa said, “I tripped down the creek bed.”

“What cut you?” Higgins asked. 

“Don’t know. Don’t remember hitting the bottom.” 

“See these are things I have to know. Did you hit your head?” 

Answering was taking everything Irisa had, and it was obvious. She shrugged. 

Higgins moved onto the dermabond, her hands moving in a way that could only be muscle memory. “Did you lose consciousness?” 

“Don’t know.” 

“Does your head hurt? You are dizzy? Nauseous?” 

“Naw-shous?” 

“Do you feel like you’re going to throw up?” 

“No.” 

“None of that?” 

“No.” 

“I don’t even know if Irathient even get concussions like humans,” Higgins said to Nolan. 

He shrugged again. “I’ll keep an eye for the signs.” He knocked on his own head. “Plenty of experience.” 

She wrapped a bandage around the wound. “Keep it dry. Come back for a wound check and clean bandage tomorrow.” 

She left for a moment and returned with an icepack for Nolan’s face and a large syringe. Irisa shrank away. Her eyes were fixated on the needle. Higgins didn’t have time for any nonsense. She just pulled Irisa’s arm towards and the jabbed in the shoulder. 

“To speed the healing,” she explained. “It will make you sleep too.” 

Her work was done, so she left them. That was Nolan’s queue. He scooped up Irisa and carried her back to her bed. She settled down and he tucked the blanket around her shoulders. Her eyes were already starting to get heavy. 

“Sleep, baby girl. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

She slept, giving over entirely to the powerful drug. He should to go back to his post. He waited as long as he could, making sure she was really fast asleep. If someone had asked him what the hardest thing he’d ever done was, walking away from a sleeping kid would not have been even close to making the list. Tonight, it would take more than he had to turn around and put one foot in front of the other. He brushed back a lock of her hair away from her forehead. He decided to wait just a little longer as he sank into his usual chair. 

Exley appeared after about an hour. “Nolan, a word.” 

“No, sir,” he said, not aggressively, but firmly. He didn’t stand up. 

“It wasn’t a request.” 

“I won’t leave her.” 

Exley signed, bone tired and moved into Nolan’s view. He was not up for an argument. “Why is this so important to you?” 

“There were other people I should’ve taken care of, should’ve protected. I had a little sister once. I won’t do it again.” He didn’t know that was the answer to that question until the words were already out of his mouth. 

Exley nodded. He understood. Every single one of the soldiers in that unit and in the rest of the military had people on their list. The list of people you couldn’t save. 

“Alright,” he said with another sign. “I’m going to give you a break on this one. I shouldn’t but I’m going to. Despite Cruz’s warpath, you did it for the girl and we are supposed to be helping people. Tomorrow though. You have to take her to the refugee camp. I won’t tolerate the distraction any longer. I’ve been incredibly lenient because I felt bad for her too, but she’s well now. We can’t waste anymore time or resources on this child.”

Nolan looked away. He had never seen a kid that was less well. Even if he didn’t take into account the hole on her arm, she was still just not okay. He didn’t answer. There was nothing to say; there was no arguing with Exley. His tone made it clear the decision was final, and it broken Nolan’s heart. 

He walked away leaving Nolan with the sleeping girl. There was nothing left to do. He’d paid someone a few script to try to find a family or something. He hadn’t checked in with the Liberata yet. Maybe he’d found somewhere better than the camp. He could only hope. Goddamn. 

Irisa whimpered in her sleep. Her legs kicked out, tangled in the blanket. Nolan reached over and took her hand. She took a few deep breaths and settled down. The whispers of cries still escape her lips. He hung his head.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning when Irisa opened her eyes, she knew something had changed. Though her time with them had not been long, she had adjusted to her life with this group. The way they ignored her was a comfort. She went unseen and unnoticed. It was all going to be different. She would be noticed now. 

She stretched a little. Every part of her was achy from her tumble. The bandage on her arm itched, but the sharpness of the pain was gone. It was healing. 

Sitting up, she pulled her knees against her chest. Nolan was asleep and leaning his face on the mattress. He had stayed. She reached out to run her fingertips along his stubbled cheek. The spot was black and blue and in the perfect shape of a fist. He'd taken that for her. For her. For her. For her. He’d done so much and she had nothing to give back. In fact, she had got him in trouble. Twice. 

He stirred, and she jerked her hand away. He sat up and stretched too, the joints in the shoulders cracking as he reached above his head. 

"Morning," he said. "You feeling better?" 

She nodded. 

"I’m glad." He smiled, and it didn't quite spread across his face. 

She was right. It was already different. He was still going to leave her. 

Suddenly, she had to be close to him. He needed to know how grateful she was. She threw herself towards him, practically falling into his lap, and wrapped her arms around his barrel chest. 

"Whoa!" He recovered and hugged her back, his chin on the top of her head. 

"What's this for?" 

"Ahiha." Thank you. 

* * *

Nolan could still feel the weight of the hug as he moved to the line of rollers. They all stood, battle-ready and waiting. Exley, extending yet another kindness, gave Nolan the day and special permission to use a vehicle to transport Irisa to the camp. But, Nolan wasn’t ready for that yet. He’d left Irisa with her breakfast and was heading into town to find Celsus, that Liberata who was supposed to be finding a family for Irisa. 

He climbed into the newest of the roller. No reason not to travel in style. The road between the Army camp and Denver was straight, but rough. They’d craved it out by driving back and forth. Crude, but effective. He bounced along, letting the rumble drown out the thoughts in his head. He was moving. He was doing something. Action was all he ever had. To stop was to give up was to die. He’d learned that in the war. He lived by that now. 

The buildings—shanties really—grew up around the road as he moved towards the city center and up the mountain. He left the roller on the outskirts of the market and went in search of Celsus. It was early, and the market was the only thing awake. Celsus ran a general stall. The wares were of good quality and he took trades, which meant he was popular especially with mothers of large families. Nolan had done his research. 

He saw the top of the Liberata’s spiky hair from the behind the counter. Nolan rapped his knuckles on the wood. 

Celsus looked up, surprise turning into guilt. Nolan’s heart sank a little farther, if that were possible. Celsus had nothing for him. 

“Corporal,” said Celsus. 

“Tell me you got something,” he said, with little hope. 

“About what?” He smiled a little. 

“You were supposed to be finding a home for the Irathient girl. Something tells me you didn’t try very hard.” 

“No, sir. No, I tried very hard. Very hard.” 

“But?” 

“But times are tough. I asked. I did, sir. No one wants to take in another mouth. I mean to say, no one can take in another mouth. Many mothers wish they could help. They said they would ask their friends. No one. Times are—”

“Tough. I get it. I want my script back.” 

“I don’t think that’s fair.” 

Nolan pulled his sidearm and dropped it on the counter. He hadn’t had a lot of sleep and he was in a bad mood. Celsus took a step backwards. 

“Script. Now,” he ordered. 

“Sir, I did try.” Celsus’ voice turned into a mouse squeak. 

Nolan stared at his gun, already regretting pulling it out. He wasn’t about to shot anyone. 

“I’m out of time,” he said. 

“I’m sorry, sir. As I’m sure you are aware, there is a refugee camp not far from here. You can drop her off there. You don’t want to be responsible for her. Little Irathient girl can’t belong to you. She’s not your blood, correct?” 

Nolan didn’t have an answer to that question. There was no biology, true. He cared for her though. More than...more than anything. 

He retrieved his gun, holstering it again, and left Celsus standing at his stall without another word. He weaved his way through the people in the market. People going about their business, waking up, buying supplies, clothes, food. 

One thing Celsus had said stuck with him. ‘You don’t want.’ He hadn’t thought about he wanted yet. He’d been concerned with what Irisa needed. She needed to get better. She needed a place to do. What about him? He wanted something other than a military unit if he could be really honest. Was he losing a chance at a family? He remembered of her weight in his arms. They ached. 

He reached the roller and slid into the driver seat. He beat his fists on steering wheel. For Irisa, it wasn’t about want. She wanted to stay with him, though God knew what her reasons were. It was her life. She might have gained a little strength back, but she would die in the refugee camp. Without someone to look out for her there, she would not survive. He had nothing to offer that girl. He felt like he’d promised her the world. He was going to let her down. 

He started the engine. He had to go back to camp; he had to tell her. He was an idiot. How did he think this could last? He should’ve tried hard to find somewhere himself. He should’ve done anything but stand on goddamn patrol. 

The trip was much faster. His mind buzzed with his words and her reactions. He would’ve done anything to slow down the journey. He pulled into camp. There seemed to be too many people around. He jumped out and could practically taste the tension. The eyes of half the unit locked onto him. 

He heard another engine and a scream. He dashed around the corner of an outbuilding and was greeted by a sharp blow to the gut. All the breath was knocked out of him and he hit the ground. 

He coughed and rolled over. One of Cruz’s lackeys stood over him. On the opposite side of the circle, Eddie was on his knees, being supposed by two of the others. His lip was bleeding. Cruz’s clique was all there, but where was Cruz? 

He struggled to get up again and when Marcus, the one who’d blindsided Nolan, raised his foot to kick again, he was ready. He grabbed the boot and twisted. Marcus followed the momentum of his leg and crashed to the ground. That exertion had used up what little breath he'd regained. It didn't matter; he needed to get to Irisa. There was no doubt it was her scream and there was no doubt that Cruz had her. 

"Joshua!" Eddie yelled. 

The call probably saved Nolan’s life. A roller—the one the engine belonged to—flew towards him. He wasn't even entirely upright, but he launched himself out of the way. He was in the dirt again. 

He flipped over just in time to see what was in the back of the vehicle, what he knew he would find. Irisa round face was pressed again the window. She pounded on the glass. He heard nothing but the spinning of the wheels, but he could see she was screaming. Screaming for him. Whoever was driving, undoubtedly Cruz yanked her out of sight. 

The roaring filled Nolan’s mind again. Screw the little voice. Screw any concern about his safety or the pain radiating from his gut or the lack of air in his lungs. He chased after Cruz. The roller was nearly out of the camp. He ran after it and was forced to give up after a few yards. He coughed, bent double trying to breathe. 

“Irisa!” His voice echoed uselessly. “Irisa! Irisa!” 

He took her. He stole her. Cruz would die. If anything happened to that little girl, Cruz would die slowly. 

Eddie reached him. His hand on his shoulder steadied him. 

"Get her or get them?" Eddie asked. 

"Get them," answered Nolan. 

They turned together. Three against two, no problem. They'd faced worse odds.


	6. Chapter 6

Irisa crouched by some empty metal barrels behind the mess. They'd been filled with some kind of cooking oil; they stank like fried chicken. It was one of her favorite hiding places. She could see most of the compound since the mess was in the back corner of the yard.

Part of the unit was getting ready to go out. Where or for what was beyond her knowledge. They were all checking equipment. Eddie was re-lacing his boot.

She ripped off a chunk of the biscuit she’d saved from the breakfast tray Nolan had brought her. When he left, she slipped out of the medical tent. She’d seen him get into the roller and leave the camp. He said he had stuff to do and she should stay put and be good. He left alone, which was strange. No one in the military seemed to do anything by themselves. So she'd hidden away.

The biscuit was gone. She dusted the crumbs off her fingers.

Someone shouted an order, and the platoon prepared to move out.

Irisa picked at the bandage. She had peeked at the wound. It was closed and the raw pink of healing. She'd be fine in another day. Less, maybe if she got another shot. 

The soldiers lined up in formation.

Someone grabbed her from behind. One large hand pulled her to her feet and then the other hooked under her arms. It happened so fast he was dragging her roughly over the drums before she cried out. A free hand clamped over her mouth. She bit down. He yelped, but didn’t let go. He shook her so violently she released him and felt her brain rattle in her skull.

“Time to go,” hissed Cruz’s voice. “Your protector isn't here to save you now and I won’t wait a second longer. I smell you all over this camp. And Nolan, he won’t snake his way out of getting rid of you.”

It wasn’t hard to carry her. He was huge and powerful. He was bold in his anger, marching straight across the yard. She struggled, fought with everything for had, but it wasn’t much against Cruz. Not even her screams seemed to reach passed his sweaty, stinking fingers. His hand covered half of her face, making it hard to breathe.

Cruz was moving towards the backs of the squad she’d been watching. One of them had to notice. Would any of them help her?

Eddie. He was with them. Uncle Eddie. The only other person who seemed to care about her besides Nolan. He would help.

She tried again. Her teeth closed around one of Cruz’s fingers. His grip didn’t let go, but it loosened just a little. She screamed again. Half the squad turned around at the strangled sound and Eddie saw.

He took a moment to register what was happening and then he acted. He pushed through the group and tried to run towards Cruz.

“What the hell are you doing? Let her go!” he yelled.

Some of the others got in the way. Suddenly, instead of trying to move passed them, Eddie was fighting them. Three against one and Eddie was losing. She could almost feel each blow to his body. She could certainly hear the sounds of the fists connecting.

The men all looked the same to Irisa. She didn’t know their name or why they were helping Cruz. Why wasn’t anyone else helping her or Eddie? She was helpless, entirely at the mercy of this man who hated her. It was the way she felt when they performed the ceremonies. Her almost expected to see her parents standing off to the side doing nothing, like these soldiers were doing. Her chest heaved; her vision sharpened. The shadows were coming again. She had to hold on. She needed to stay here. If she gave in, she was done. 

Eddie finally went down and two of them grabbed an arm each. The third man threw a punch that connected with Eddie’s face. His head lolled on his shoulders. She saw blood.

Cruz was getting closer to the roller. There was one parked behind a storage building and beyond that was the gap in the fence. She’d give anything to be back in the woods. Cruz threw her in the back seat. She bounced off the reinforced caging. The door slammed as he climbed into the driver’s seat. The engine roared to life. She pulled herself up to see out the window.

She saw him. He was here. Nolan came her. He was pulling himself off the ground. She slammed her fists against the window. She called his name. He looked up and saw her. He ran. He tried. She knew he would.

“Shut up!” said Cruz.

She yelled louder.

He reached back, and yanked her down. “You shut up or you’ll won’t make it to the refugee camp.”

Her breath caught. They’d talked in hushed voices, but she knew what that place was. Even when she was with the cult, she knew it was a place of death. People didn’t come back. Nolan had done all this to keep her away from the camp. Irisa curled up as small as she could in the back seat. The sounds of her crying didn’t seem to bother Cruz. Above her, trees blocked the sky. They had left the compound. Nolan wouldn’t be able to get to her anymore. She had nothing else. No one was left to fight for her.

* * *

Again and again, Nolan’s fist connected with Jones’ face. “She’s a child!” he screamed. “A little girl!”

The roller was long gone. Charlie was already unconscious. Eddie had Marcus pinned. He and Eddie had kicked their asses. But Nolan wouldn’t stop.

“What the hell? What the _jek_ is going on? Have I lost complete control?” Exley’s voice boomed across the compound. He marched towards them with a few military police behind him. 

“He took her,” said Nolan.

Exley took a deep breath. He pointed at Marcus. “What happened?”

“Officer Cruz was making sure your orders were getting followed,” he said.

“What happened?” Exley repeated.

“Cruz took the little _haigyi_ to the refugee camp. Officers Nolan and Braddock got in the way.”

“Merely defending ourselves,” said Eddie.

“I've heard that argument too many times, especially when you are involved.” Exley pointed at Nolan. “Lockup. Now. I won't have you waiting for Cruz when he comes back. You'll stay there until this blows over. Braddock, help get those three to the medic. You’ll clean up his mess. Maybe someday you’ll tire of it.”

Several of the MPs responded to his orders. Two came towards Nolan.

“He took her,” repeated Nolan.

“And she was going anyway!” Exley roared back. “Go or there will be real charges!”

Nolan let the MPs with their very large weapons take his side arm, the knife at his waist and the one in his boot. They direct him towards the lockup. It was the only permanent building in the compound. The other structures were all either the sturdy tents or flimsy shacks. Lockup was the first thing to go up when they arrived at a new post. It was made of cinderblocks with a thick concrete floor. A line of thin open-air windows ran around the top just below the roof. The jail cell was bigger than usual and there was a bench bolted to the floor. Better accommodations than most. He'd been in enough lockups to know.

They closed the door and left. One of them would stand guard outside. Nolan collapsed onto the bench, messaging his very bruised knuckles. He was an idiot. Anger won again. She was halfway to the camp by now and he was stuck in here. He buried his face in his battered hands. Now, he’d really let her done. She didn’t deserve to with stuck with a _shtako_ guardian. Guardian? That wasn’t right. That was too high a title. Nothing seemed to fit, other than idiot.

It was several hours before anything changed. A roller pulled up, the engine cut and the door slam. Nolan jumped up onto the bench and tried to see out a window. From this angle, there was hardly anything to see. A minute later, there was shouting. Though, he couldn’t make out voices or words. Hopefully, it was Cruz getting in trouble with Exley, or, even better, Eddie getting even. Everything went quiet again.

He’d gone to the circus when he was about six. Before the show started, he and his dad had wandered the fair ground and the area where the animals were kept. They’d seen four lions and one enormous tiger in cages too small. All five animals had exactly enough room to take a few steps, turn around and repeat. Over and over again. That’s how Nolan felt. Somewhere to be, something important he had to do, and he was stuck in a cage.

He’d go after her as soon as he was out. He wouldn’t let her die. She deserved a full and long life. He’d get her out and take her somewhere safe and then...and then? He’d have to work on the second half of the plan once Irisa was safe.

The light was starting to change in his cell. It was getting close to the end of the day. Exley would have to let him out at some point.

He heard voices right outside the door.

“Dinner for the prisoner.” It was Eddie to the rescue.

“I’ll give it to him.”

“C’mon, the CO gave me all this _shtako_ to do, and it’s all his fault. It’s what I get for standing up for him, right? I want to see him all locked up.”

“Point and laugh?” said the MP.

Eddie laughed. “Yeah, something like that.”

The door unlocked and Eddie appeared, holding a tray with a scant dinner. He shoved the door closed in the face of the MP and made it look perfectly casual. Eddie passed the tray over and leaned against the metal bars.

“What’s the plan, No-man?” he asked.

Nolan scratched his chin. “I can’t leave her there.”

“Agreed.”

“I think this military thing has run its course.”

“Agreed.”

“The war is over. It’s time for everyone to learn to live together.”

“Agreed.”

“We’d make two, three times are much script as mercenaries.”

“I’ve always wanted to try bounty hunting.”

They were both quiet for a moment, contemplating how their lives were about to change. Nolan decided Irisa was worth it. He’d done right by rescuing her and now he had to finish the job. He looked up and found Eddie watching him.

“Plan?” Eddie asked again.

“Get out, get a roller, get to the refugee camp?”

“Well thought out.”

“I do my best.”

“No going back?”

“No going back.”

They clasped hands through the bars.

The rest they accomplished without speaking. Eddie dumped the food onto the floor and positioned himself by the door, the tray at the ready.

Nolan cleared his throat and called out, “Oh God. Stop. What are you doing?”

The acting wasn’t great, but the guard came running anyway and crashed right into the swinging metal tray. He fell and Eddie completed the routine by kneeing the poor man in the face. He was unconscious by the time he hit the floor.

Eddie yanked a small packet out of his pocket and tossed it and then a lighter to Nolan, who fitted a glob of the plasticine explosive over the lock. Eddie finished disarming the MP and pulled him as far away from the cell as possible in the little room.

“Fire in the hole,” Nolan said, turned his face away, and clicked the lighter.

The explosive lit, burned red and then bright blue. There was an echoing pop and chunks of metal flew across the room. The cell door flew open. Nolan took the MP’s weapons. Being armed again made him feel better.

“I’ll get the roller. You go through that hole in the fence and meet me on the road,” said Eddie.

Nolan nodded.

Eddie went to the door and peered out. He motioned Nolan forward, and he went, hunching low, gun against his cheek, finger on the trigger. The lockup was close to the hole, so once he was behind the building it was easy to get to. Then, he was in the woods again. He cut around the compound, going the long way to avoid the patrols. Fortunately, whoever was on duty took the job as serious as he had. He saw no one, and that only made him more nervous.

He found the road. Nothing to do but wait. He crouched below one of the large trees as the darkness fell around him. He heard nothing but the usual forest noises. His body was still and alert. Everything from his set jaw to the balls of his feet was ready for action. This was always the worst part. The calm before the storm. He had always been in the vanguard during the war, so he could get moving. Waiting was the torture, especially right now when he had already waited too long. He tried not to picture where Irisa was right now, even though the images had not left his head since the roller had disappeared in the distance.

He shook his head. She wouldn’t be there long enough for anything to happen to her. He was coming for his little girl.

The crunching of tires on the rough ground pulled him out of any thoughts. The roller was moving fast. Eddie’s get away had not been so clean. The lights came into view as the vehicle practically launched over a small rise in the track. It roared passed Nolan’s hiding place. He tore after it and fired a few shots into the air. That got Eddie’s attention. He slammed on the breaks and roller fish-tailed to a stop.

Nolan wretched open the door and threw himself into the passenger seat. Eddie took off again.

“Who’s following?” Nolan asked. 

“Cruz. He saw me leave.” The tires nearly spun out again. “Damn it!” he yelled as he corrected.

Nolan looked over his shoulder. The glow of headlights always seemed to be just around the last bend.

“Just him?”

“His friends are all in the infirmary.”

Nolan swung the stolen gun onto his lap. He took off the safety. “Find me a spot.” He rolled down the window and slid his torso through the opening. He rested the gun on the roof. They hit another bump. Nolan nearly fell out. “And keep it straight!”

They come to long, steady curve. Perfect.

“Slow down,” he called.

Eddie followed the order. They were near the end of the curve when Cruz’s vehicle came into full view. Nolan aimed and fired. Each of his three bullets found the windshield, but in the dark he couldn’t tell if they’d found their true target. The other roller flipped into the air. He watched it arch and scrap against an outcropping of rock. The roller stopped on its side. It was gone from sight in a matter of seconds.

Nolan settled back in his seat.

“He might have survived that,” said Eddie.

“Maybe.”

He didn’t like killing, even Cruz who deserved to feel some pain for what he’d done, the racist SOB. It’s how he ended up a part of the Defiant Few. He refused to kill. They all had on that day. But there were those who liked killing and they’d been given a new world as a playground. Nolan did what he had to do and asked questions later. There was no time for regret when a life was on the line. If you survived or someone you cared about survive, it was the right call.

They pressed on. It was more waiting for Nolan. He at least wished he were driving. Images of the camp flooded his mind again. He had been to the refugee camp a few times. It was a sprawling shantytown about an hour away on the other side of Denver. Food was scarce. Irisa would have no one to make sure she didn’t go hungry. Lines took hours for simple supplies and the quantities were given based on need. Her need wouldn’t be great and she would have no way of cooking it. There were no medical facilities either. A doctor and a nurse came once of week. Last time he’d been there to provide extra security after health riots.

What really worried him was how unsafe it was. It was heavily fortified, but only on two sides. The great walls formed an L shape that didn’t so much provide protection as much as they kept the camp from spreading closer to Denver. The other sides were open to Storm Divide. It had its own security force, and they patrolled as best they could, but it was an enormous area to cover. Badland creatures took over at night and Irisa would have no place to go.

He saw her hiding alone in the dark as a pack of Saberwolves moved closer. In his mind, she was even skinnier and just so little.

‘I’m coming,’ Nolan thought.


	7. Chapter 7

They didn’t speak much as they drove towards the refugee camp, but Eddie had one question. 

“This was always the end game, wasn’t it?” 

Nolan pulled himself out of his thoughts. “Huh?” 

“Ditching the Army. This was the only way this could end.” 

“Actually no,” he said, shaking his head. “I really planned to find her a family.” 

“Your plans are shtako.” 

“While that’s true, she deserved better than a life on the run. I want her to have a family. But they took her. That was the wrong way to do it and I can’t stand for that. I might have been able to leave her if I knew she was safe. I can’t just walk away. Not this time at least.” 

“Always the hero.” 

“Hey, if you don’t have to go through with this. You can go back to camp and say I forced you. I’ll stick to that story if they ever catch up.” 

“I appreciate the offer, but I’m seeing this through. You’re not the only one with debts.” 

“You don’t have to pay me back. I said that before.” 

“No one will believe you forced me.” 

“I could shoot you or something and leave you on the side of the road?” 

Eddie laughed. “Again, I appreciate the offer. It’s too late now anyway.” 

The checkpoint came into view and Eddie stopped the roller. They both got out. Nolan stretched while Eddie checked his gun.

“What’s next?” Eddie asked, looking the roller.

Nolan shrugged. “We talk our way in. They shouldn’t care. One less refugee, right?”

Eddie didn’t look so sure and neither was Nolan to be honest.

“Let me drive. I’ll do the talking.”

They switched places and climbed back into the roller. They pulled up to the checkpoint. Nolan stopped.

A heavily armed guard came out of the hut. He didn’t look happy to be bothered.

“What?” he asked.

“We’re here to talk to a...a witness.”

“You know it two o’clock in the morning?”

“We are well aware,” snapped Eddie.

“Shut it,” Nolan said. “She was dropped off by mistake and now we have to clear up the mess.”

“Come back when the sun is up,” said the guard.

“We can’t go back to our CO without her, so you can call and tell him why we’re late. He likes his beauty sleep too. He’s gonna be so pissed,” said Nolan.

“C’mon, we’ll be in and out. It’s only one Irathient girl,” added Eddie. 

The guard’s eyes flicked to Nolan’s face. That had caught his interest. “Fine. Go through and when my CO is pissed, tell her it’s your fault.”

“Will do,” said Nolan. He put the roller into gear. “He knows.”

“Knows what?”

“That we’re not supposed to be here. I told you to keep I’d do the talking.”

“How could he possibly know?”

“Maybe Cruz warned them. I don’t know, but he paid attention after you mentioned she was Irathient.”

“Why’d he let us through?”

“That I don’t know. Safeties off, I think. And keep your mouth shut.”

“This isn’t my fault, oh great mastermind.”

“Shh!”

They reached the main building. A woman was tightly braided blonde hair and an impressive uniform was waiting with two other guards.

“You’re here about the Irathient girl?” the officer asked when Eddie and Nolan got out of the vehicle.

“We are.” Nolan said and then introduced himself and Eddie. The woman was Captain March.

“You came a long way for nothing,” said March. “She had some kind of fit after she was dropped off. She’s in quarantine.”

“We have to at least talk to her,” Nolan said.

“Why didn’t you do that this morning?”

“There was mix up. The wrong refugee got sent here. We have a few of them from a cult that was causing problems. The girl was special to them. There are more questions.”

“You have multiple young girls at that Army base of yours?”

“Well, no. It was a mix up that was our fault.”

“Our?” interrupted Eddie, adding the right amount of frustration.

“Fine, fine. My fault.”

“Humans can catch Irathient diseases. I won’t expose—”

“It’s not a disease. It’s PTSD. You can’t catch it.”

“Our doctor thought—”

“Did he actually see the patient? I've been here before. For the health riots.” He was running out of patience. She was wasting time.

“Ah, yes,” she said. “That was before my time. I run a better—”

“I don’t care. Let us talk to her and we’ll come back with official orders tomorrow.” She gave him a warning look and Eddie shifted his feet, ready for what might happen next. “Look, I’m sorry. It’s been a long day. I’d really like to get out of your hair. I’ll talk to the girl and we’ll leave.”

“Fine. I’ll escort you,” March said.

“We don’t want to be any more trouble than—.”

“No one is going anywhere near quarantine with me.” 

She didn’t wait for a response, but started towards their roller. They skirted the inside of the protection wall on the way to the quarantine zone. The buildings had pushed so close to the wall that there was just enough room for the driving lane. The ride wasn’t long, but awkward. March was stalling. Let them talk to the girl while the Army had a chance to catch up. Nolan gave Eddie another look across the passage seat. He saw what was going on too. All three of them knew what was going on.

The building was shaped like a large T and in the middle of wide cleared space. The clearing was the most secure thing about it. The entrance was set up to have several airlocks, but none of them were closed. Half the power was out. It was mostly empty. He could hear the window rattling through open or broken windows.

“Some facility,” muttered Eddie.

“Down here,” she said and led the way down a row of cells.

The front of the facility had seemed empty, but these cells were full. Apparently, it was being used as a lockup as well as quarantine. The occupants called and jeered as Nolan and the others appeared. The cages were separated by two rows of bars. They couldn’t reach him, even though that didn’t stop them from trying. 

Eddie chatted about long hours. Nolan took a few steps ahead in rush to get to Irisa. There was yelp. Nolan jumped and reached for his gun. March was on her knees with Eddie’s arm around her neck and his weapon against her head. The inmates screamed and whooped. A few asked to be released too.

“Element of surprise,” he said.

March struggled, but she had to know there was no way to dodge a bullet at that distance.

“Keys. Now.” Nolan said. He searched her pockets and removed her weapons.

“Do you think I’m completely stupid? I didn’t bring them. You can go find the guards if you like.”

“The Army is already on their way, isn’t it?”

“Of course! The other soldier said you’d be coming and to call the Army when you showed up.”

“I have more explosive. Enough talk!” Eddie said.

He pulled more another little packet from Eddie’s breast pocket and hurried down the passage. The sound in the block was deafening. The voices echoed and turned into an unintelligible cacophony. His heart slammed against his chest. He was so close. What was he going to do next? His poorly thought out plan hadn’t even reached this far and now the Army was coming. He breathed out for what felt like the first in hours. It didn’t matter what happened next. Irisa was in front of him. Probably scared for her life, but unhurt.

She was in the last cell in the block. She had wedged herself in the corner of the cell as far away from everything as she could possibly get. Her knees were against her chest and her face hidden from his view.

* * *

The noises grew loud again. Irisa didn't raise her head. Something was happening and if it had anything to do with her, she didn't want to know. She could delay it by not looking. Maybe they wouldn't see her in the half-light. There was no electric bulb in her cell. 

Two guards brought Cruz here, and he'd thrown her in. The grin made him look like a laughing _kabule_. He dragged her with a tight grip on her arm. There would be finger-shaped bruises next time she looked. But she wasn't looking. Maybe if she made herself small enough she would disappear. She wouldn't have to be scared or in pain. The shadows wouldn't come for her. 

The woman in the uniform suggested Cruz take her to the school, where the other kids were. But the fact he was really going to leave her here had pushed her over the edge. He was a monster, but he was familiar and she had learned to live with monsters. She lost the battle with the shadows. When she came back, she was on the floor with the woman holding her head. Cruz was above her and looking bored. 

"That happens a couple times a day," he was saying. 

"Is it a seizure?" 

"I don't know. Could be." 

"Sounds medical. Perhaps quarantine until the doctor can look at her?" 

He'd jumped on the idea. "Yes, quarantine. That's what she needs." And that awful smile spread over his face. 

She was shuffled back into a roller with two guards and they walked her down the passage with every kind of mad creature reaching for her. Cruz threw her in the cell and locked the door himself. She'd screamed, yelled until she had no voice left and choked on her tears. He didn't come back. The shadows came again. When they were done with her, she'd pulled herself into the corner and hadn't moved. 

She ignored the thin Castithan with a missing eye in the cell next to her, who tried to get her attention. He called to her like a small animal, whistling and talking softly. 

Irisa tried to ignore the sounds until she heard one voice. It wasn’t any louder than the others, but so much of her heart was longing to hear just that particular voice it seemed to cut through everything. 

“Hey, kiddo. How’d you end up here?” 

She looked up. Nolan stood in front of her on the other side of the doubled bars. It felt like a hundred years since they’d sat in the woods together, but the same calm flooded her body. It was all going to be okay. He was here to save her. He came back for her. 

She went to the bars and held out her hand. She just wanted to be held, to be touched, to make sure he was real. He reached back. His hand closed around hers. 

“I’m getting you out of there, but you have to stand back. Okay?” 

She didn’t want to let go. It all might slip through her fingers and be gone again. 

He smiled. “I’m not going anywhere. Go back against the wall and cover your face.” 

She stepped away from him and followed his instructions. She faced the wall. Something popped loudly and she jumped. The scent a smoke filled the air. There was another bang and then the sound of the cell door clattering open. She peered around. Nolan took a step into the cell. 

She was free. He came back for her. 

They both paused for a beat. He opened his hands, and she flew towards him. He lifted her up. She wrapped her arms around his neck. He covered her head with a hand and held her close. She felt him sigh in relief. Much like he had weeks earlier, he carried her down the passage. 

* * *

As Nolan reached the end of the hall with Irisa safe in his arms, Eddie raised his gun and cracked March in the back of the head. She crumbled. He led the way back down to the front of the building and stationed himself by the door. Everything outside seemed quiet. The noise lessened as they moved along, but it was still obvious something was going on. 

“You okay?” he asked Irisa now it was quiet enough to hear her voice. Irisa nodded against his neck, but didn’t answer. 

“I’ve got you. I’m here.” 

She leaned back and he could see her face. “You came,” she said. 

“Of course I did. I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Not anymore. Not if I can stop it.” She hugged him again. “The thing is we’re in a lot of danger right now. You have to stay close and do exactly what I say and I mean exactly. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” 

He put her down. “Let’s go.” 

Irisa was the only one who moved. Both Nolan and Eddie had heard it. A second later, she looked up at him, terrified. She heard it too and knew what it meant. Engines. Not just one, but two or three. 

“They’re coming,” said Eddie. “Take her and go.” 

Nolan knew what that meant. “I’m not leaving you.” 

“Get to the roller.” 

“I’ll swing around and get you.” 

Eddie didn’t answer, just disappeared through the door. Nolan counted heartbeats. Two choices. He could help Eddie, lose the fight, lose Irisa. He could go to the roller, get away, save Irisa. Nothing mattered but that little girl. His choice was made before he’d even finished the thought. 

He grabbed Irisa around the waist and dash across the cleaning. The two Army rollers were only a hundred yards away. Gunshots rang out over their roar. Irisa shrieked. One of the rollers veered suddenly, flipping sideways and sliding in a circle before stopping. They returned gunfire. A bullet whined off metal. Too close, but they were behind his roller now. 

Nolan opened the driver side door and shoved Irisa under dash on the passenger side. “Stay down!” 

A tire blew. The roller wouldn’t go far, but the soldiers were unhurt. They kept firing. Nolan could get away without being chased in a roller, but where was Eddie? Nolan found him. He was pressed against the wall of the building around the corner from the incoming bullets. Nolan really only saw the flash of his gun. There was too much empty space in between them. The Army was too close. They had seconds. 

Then he heard his call, “Go! Take her and go! No way out of this, No-man. Know how we were talking about Pine Ridge? This is my debt paid back!” 

“I’m not leaving!” he said back. 

“Go!” 

A window shattered. Irisa screamed again as the glass rained down her. They were out of time. Nolan moved. In a fluid motion, he was in the seat and slamming the vehicle into gear. They peeled away in a cloud of dust. In the rear view mirror, he saw Eddie in the middle of the clearing, tossing his gun aside and raising his hands. 

Nolan focused his stare forward. He didn’t look back again. He would drive all night. He would drive while Irisa slept curled in the seat next to him. He would keep going.


	8. Chapter 8

The roller ran out of fuel a few miles north of what was once Roswell, New Mexico. It was now called Shrubland City. A lot of the cities in the Southwest had migrated together for protection and the irony that it used to be Roswell, the site of the infamous Area 51, was not lost on Nolan. Shrubland was now the largest city in the Storm Divide. A good place to hide and a good place to start over.

Nolan had driven straight through the night and most of the next day. Only stopping every few hours to stretch and take rest breaks. Before Arch Fall, it would’ve taken only seven or eight hours. He didn't care. There just needed to be as much distance as possible between them and the Army.

He pulled off to the side of the road and coasted behind a stand of trees. They’d slept in the vehicle despite the biting cold. It was morning now. He would have to walk into town. Irisa would come with him, but he didn’t want to wake her. She’d slept most of the ride. The open road and the open sky seemed to do her good. The cloud had lifted a little. He felt it too.

He’d actually done it. He’d jumped in a roller and rode away from his life. There was no better cause than the girl next to him. Without a doubt, they could survive. The freedom was all he really needed. It was oxygen and suddenly the air tasted sweet.

That freedom wouldn’t last long if he stayed here. The roller had been packed with supplies, but they were almost out of water and all they had to eat was MREs. They were sustaining, but that was about all the had going for them. They needed to get into town, get a proper meal and a proper bed.

Climbing out of the vehicle, he unloaded the supplies out of the back of the roller. He separated what they might need or might earn good script, and what was useless. The extra stuff he left in the back. He would do his best to hide the roller, but if anyone found it, they’d be able to stripe it clean with the busted window. He buried what he couldn’t carry. On the way back, he collected branches, big leafy ones he could use to camouflage the roller.

It was time to wake Irisa. If they didn’t get moving, he’d be walking back in the dark.

He leaned through the broken window and called her name. Her eyes fluttered open almost at once.

“Good morning,” he said.

“Where are we?” she asked, sitting up from underneath Nolan’s coat.

“Stuck 6.2 miles outside of Shrubland City in what used to be New Mexico.” He pulled a nutrient bar from a pocket. “You skipped dinner. Eat.”

She took the bar. “Why’d we stop?”

“Out of gas. We’ve got to walk.”

“Oh.”

“I didn’t want to stop any closer to Denver. Ready to go?”

She nodded, and he opened the door for her. He told her what little he knew of the area, but mostly they walked in silence. It was an easy, comfortable quiet. They didn’t need to say anything. What was left to discuss?

They left the dirt track after a few miles and onto what could more accurately be called a road. There were more vehicles and Nolan flagged down a supply truck that took them to the city wall. 

* * *

The truck slowed to a stop and Nolan jumped down. He took Irisa by the waist and set her down. As it pulled away, she saw the city for the first time.

The buildings were all a few stories tall, square, and made of smooth, reddish clay with pops of color in places. Rollers moved passed them and people—people of all race, human and Votan—weaved through the traffic. The air was thick. She smelled food and smoke. She’d never seen something so big, never seen so many people. It was loud. She drew closer to Nolan. She didn’t like it.

“Stick close,” he said unnecessarily.

There was an archway and a squad of soldiers was looking over everyone who went through. The trickle of people lined up beneath the arch. The soldiers were inspecting some of the baggage. There was some kind of static veil. Irisa held her breath as they crossed the threshold.

An alarm beeped and Irisa jumped. Nolan put his hands up at once. Two of the soldiers advanced.

"Easy, boys. Side arm on my thigh. Nothing else," said Nolan. 

"We'll check for ourselves if you don't mind," said the smaller of the two men.

He was Irathient. His hair was cut like a human. He took Nolan’s gun from itself holster and gave him an ID chip. He ran his hands up and down Nolan’s sides.

"You'll get it back when you leave."

"Thanks so much," said Nolan without a hint of sarcasm.

He winked at Irisa as they left the checkpoint. She tried not to smile. He'd left them take it on purpose. The soldiers had focused on the gun and didn't check closely for blades. She could see the top of a hilt sticking out of his boot.

“This is the market entrance,” Nolan said. “There’s a small market here every day, but a once a week people come from all over the desert to buy and sell. We can go check it out later if you want. We have business to take care of first.”

He kept talking, but she was distracted. The ground sloped downward towards a tunnel. The thin crowd began to gather closer together. Vaguely, she heard him say something about a security measure, but her attention was on putting one foot in front of the other. She didn’t want to go into the darkened tunnel with bodies pressing in around her.

Someone shoved passed. She bounced into another person and then another. The crowd pushed her, but she was facing the wrong direction now. There were too many people. They wouldn’t stop pushing. 

“Nolan!” she tried to call, but her voiced seem to her lost. 

Where was he? He should be a head taller than most of the others. She couldn’t see him. Her breathing was getting heavy; her vision was starting to sharpen. Another person jostled her. The shadows were coming.

He grabbed her hand, and the panic fled. Nolan stood above her, a wall against the flow of people. He said nothing, just gave her a little tug. She moved again with the stream and with Nolan beside her.

In less than a minute, they were out of the tunnel. She could see the shining sun again and it warmed Irisa’s cheeks.

* * *

Nolan tried not to let his panic show. God, it had only been two seconds, but he’d let her out of his sight and she’d vanished. He would have to hold on tight. She was holding his hand now. He could literally feel her and still he wanted to glance down every few seconds. 

The crowds spread out as they exited the tunnel. He knew she hadn’t liked it. It couldn’t be helped. The city center was only accessible via four tunnels at the points of the compass. It’s how Shrubland had survived for so long. 

It took a few blocks for Nolan to orient himself. It had been a few years since he’d been here. The mission had been to go undercover so he’d got to know the bad part of the city simply called Downtown. He’d played the overworked military man—not a far stretch—and got to know every nook and cranny. He headed in that direction now. Downtown had its own market, and its own rules. 

First step was to find a place to crash, then he’d get the roller and sell it. No matter what size, every town had an underbelly and that included Shrubland. Fencing stolen goods wasn’t hard if you knew the right people. The problem was that it had been a long time since Nolan had been here. Most of the people he knew had probably closed shop for one reason or another. He was starting from zero and with someone else to worry about. Still, he had his tricks. 

He approached a group of men outside a mechanics shop. Nothing of them looked like they were there to work. A couple were sharing a newspaper. The others were talking and smoking. He kept Irisa behind him and asked to bum a cigarette. They obliged. 

He passed back the lighter and let out a deep sigh with the smoke. “Been a long time, boys. I thank you.” 

“Just rolled into town?” asked one. 

“Yup, first time in a long time since I’ve been anywhere civilized.” He winked, and the men chuckled. Downtown was hardly civilized. 

“Who’s the girl?” asked another a little too hungrily. 

“Cargo,” Nolan answered, trying to keep emotion out of his voice. He hoped he sounded uninterested. “I’m actually looking for the drop off point. A hotel around here run by a woman? Nice girls and good food.” Brothels run by women were cleaner and attracted a more upscale clientele. They had a more family feel to them. 

“Sounds like Hannah’s place?” said the first. The others nodded. “Magic 8 about six blocks that way.” He pointed down the road. 

“I’m grateful for the help. I should’ve done a better job remembering the name.” He tapped his forehead and rolled his eyes. 

The others laughed again. Nolan waved a goodbye. 

They found the place exactly as directed. Inside, there was a large space filled with tables and card tables. A broad staircase led to an upstairs where he could see the line of doors. The bar was wide and made of Old World wood. 

Nolan bellied up to the bar. As much as he had tried to pretend, he had never been any kind of military man and never would be. He was a bar fight kind of guy. He was his happiest in brothels, casinos, and dive bars. He knew how that world worked. He had never been able to play the politics of Army life. People didn't pretend to be anything they weren't in the underbelly. There was fantasy, sure. People acted out scenes, but there was no hiding the truth. Everyone knew it was pretend. 

He sighed like he was coming home as he leaned on the polished bar. There was a leggy brunette behind it. Nolan motioned her over. The place was mostly empty so early in the afternoon. She smiled and came willingly. 

"Hey, gorgeous," he said. 

She leaned against the bar too. She had on a pale, sparkly leotard underneath a kimono. “What can I do for you?” she said with gentle accent. Nolan guessed Texas. 

"Me and my associate—" He paused to lift Irisa on to a stool beside him. The barkeep looked amused. "We are in desperate need of a hot meal." 

"We have a Thanksgiving dinner on special. Turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, the works." 

"Real turkey?" 

"Real turkey." 

"Yum. How's that sound?" he asked, turning to Irisa. 

She shrugged. He realized she probably didn't know what a turkey was or Thanksgiving. 

"That's as close to a yes as we'll get. Two please." 

"Coming up," she said. "You can take any table you like." 

"Thank you kindly. I'm Nolan, by the way, and this here is Irisa." 

"Hannah." She smiled and waved them towards the seating area. 

He lifted Irisa off the stool and led the way to a table against the wall, but will a view of the street. The front of the building was a large window covered in a film so that you could see out, but not in. 

"God, I'm starving," he said flopping into a chair. 

Irisa clambered in the other one. Her feet didn't touch the floor. 

"Me too," she said. 

"Good. You'll enjoy it." He told her about traditions surround Thanksgiving. 

Hannah brought the food and two mugs of hot cider, one with something a little extra. The spike of alcohol warmed his bones. 

As they finished, Hannah came back to their table. 

“Anything else I can do for you two darlings?” she asked and pulled up a chair. She leaned back easily. 

“This is the part where you’ll be wanting to get paid, isn’t it?” Nolan said. 

Irisa’s head snapped in his direction, but Hannah just smiled. “There’s no rush, but that is how this works.”

“I never did get around to telling you why we were in such a need for a good meal, did I?” 

“No, sugar, you didn’t.” 

“Well, we both just out of a bad situation and our roller ran out of gas. We had to walk. Now, I have the script. Don’t you worry about that. I just have two choices. Pay for the food or pay for more fuel.” 

Hannah raised an eyebrow. “And why didn’t you mention this before you consumed my fine cooking?” 

“I smelled turkey and just lost my damn mind.” 

“Hmm,” she said, but fighting another smile. 

“I need to go get my roller. I have things worth money. I’ll do a little business and come back. I know you’re thinking there’s no guarantee you’d ever see me again. I offer two solutions to that. Since I don’t want to schlep my gear all the way back there, so I’ll leave my stuff with you. I don’t come back, you can sell it.” 

“That’s sounds promising. What’s the second?” 

“Irisa will stay here too.” 

“What? Don’t leave me.” said Irisa, the panic clear to everyone. She gazed up at him and he felt like he was ripping her heart out. 

“Doesn’t sound like she likes that idea. The luggage will be fine. You have a deal,” said Hannah. 

“See, I thought you were a kind woman with good sense and now I know it. This kid is strong, but I don’t want to make her walk all the way back there again. Have one of your girls look after her. Give her a bath and maybe a clean set of clothes. All expensive will be reimbursed.” 

He reached out and covered Irisa’s hand with his. “Sound okay to you?” 

It was Irisa’s opinion he cared about. Hannah would agree. It was an unusual request, but this was a brothel, so it probably wasn’t the strangers. There’d be a girl who’d jump at the chance for an easy night. 

Irisa shook her head, but slowly like she’d already give in. She looked at him with such trust. He had to live up to that. He would do right by her. 

He tried to reassure her. “It’ll only be a few of hours.”

“It’ll be fun,” said Hannah. “I have a friend who would love to hang out with you.” 

With that, Irisa nodded in earnest. 

“That’s my girl,” Nolan said. 

Hannah looked to a far corner of the room. Underneath the staircase was a small alcove filled with plush couches. A group of girls and two men were lounging and chatting. 

“Cherry, come here,” she called. One of a girl untangled herself from the group. She was a blonde with curvy hips and big, brown eyes and had on a brightly patterned top and long, sheer skirt. “Honey, this is Nolan and Irisa.” 

Cherry smiled in greeting, but gave Hannah a meaningful look. She was confused why she was being called over when there was a child standing in front of her. “What can I do for you?” 

“Irisa’s is going to stay with us for the afternoon. Could you take her upstairs for a nice hot bath while I find her something better to wear?” She eyed the mismatch and ill-fitting collection Nolan had scrounged at the Army camp. 

Cherry’s features lit up. “It would be a pleasure. I have ten younger brothers and sisters. I miss them. ” 

“All settled then,” said Hannah. 

Cherry held out her hand to Irisa. The little girl looked helpless, but got up from her seat without Cherry’s help. Her arm dropped. “Independent thing, isn’t she?” 

“Yeah, watch out for that. I’ll be back soon, kiddo,” he said. 

Irisa didn’t answer as usual. She and Cherry had crossed the bar when he looked at Hannah. “One more thing. She has these, umm, panic attacks. Just hold her and talk to her if it happens.” 

Her brow furrowed. “She’s safe with us.” 

“Thanks.” He watched Irisa take a few more steps away from him. “Hey,” he called after her. 

She turned back. He bent down and opened his arms. She raced to him again and into his embrace. He held her tight. 

“You be good, okay?” he said. 

She nodded. They both let go. He left to find what they needed.


	9. Chapter 9

Irisa wasn’t alone, but she was with strangers again. Nolan had left her again. She knew it was different this time. He would be back and she was grateful not to have to walk all that way again. She didn’t like to be apart when they had only just found each other for good. Hannah and Cherry seemed nice. She wasn’t scare, but they were still strangers. 

Cherry led her upstairs, around a corner, and into a bedroom. She dashed around, gathering things left out and shoving them into a wardrobe. “We don’t usually have clients in our private rooms, so it’s a bit of a mess.” 

Irisa didn’t care. The room was just large enough for a wide bed, a plump sitting chair and an overflowing bookcase. The walls were covered in travel posters and there was a thick rug under their feet. It was cluttered and cozy. It made Irisa like Cherry a little. 

Cherry flopped onto the bed while Irisa still hung in the doorway. 

“You can come in.” 

Irisa took a step forward. She was in the room now. 

Cherry smiled and shook her head. She got up and ushered Irisa further into the room before closing the door. What little noise there was from the bar muffled even further. 

“Hannah said you could use a bath and I would say I have to agree.” 

Irisa wanted to dive under the bed. Did she stink? Was she covered in dirt? She felt so small and left behind. This was embarrassing. She wanted to be left alone. Maybe Cherry to just go away. She bit her lip. 

“Oh honey, I didn’t mean it like that,” Cherry said quickly. She knelt down in front of Irisa, so they were eye to eye. “People in my line of work learn to see what people need. You, darling, just need a little loving. While—what was his name? Nolan?” Irisa nodded. “While Nolan is off doing boring things, you are going to be pampered. Bubble bath, scent for your hair, new clothes. It’ll be fun.” 

Irisa didn’t think any of that sound like fun, but she nodded again. 

“We’re not wasting any time.” She straightened and beckoned Irisa to follow her back into the hallway. 

She led her to a bathroom that would have been completely unremarkable except for the large, sunken tub in the corner. There was a row of two steps around the inside rim it was so big. She had only ever washed standing in a small basin while someone dumped cold water on her head. 

“Our place isn’t fancy but we have this. We’re not strictly supposed to use it without a client, but I figure you count. Guest of honor.” She squeezed Irisa’s shoulder before going over and messing with the taps. A blast of water came shooting out. She perched on the edge of the tub and added a few powders to make the water smelled sweet and began to foam. “How’s that feel?” 

She hesitated, but Cherry looked so eager. She stepped forward and put her fingers under the water. She jerked away almost at once. It was hot. There was hot water coming out of the wall. How was that possible? 

“It’s hot.” 

“Too hot?” Cherry asked. 

“How is it hot at all?” 

“There’s a boiler in the basement,” she answered with a small sigh. “Darling, you need this more than I thought. Off with your clothes. No need to be shy, not with what I do for a living.” 

Irisa didn’t know what Cherry meant about her job, but she wasn’t shy. She had never lived anywhere with a private bathing area although she knew that’s how humans usually did it. She pulled off her clothes and the bandage covering the practically healed gash on her arm. Cherry made a noise, but only smiled when Irisa looked at her. 

Irisa tried not to look at her own body. She wasn’t shy about her nakedness at least. She had old scars from the cult. There was the gashing on her arm from her fall and the fresh bruises from Cruz’s his rough treatment of her. Her feet were blistered from walking so far in the shoes that didn’t fit. She knew she was a mess. She sank into the warm, foamy water as quickly as she could. The bubbles hid most of her from view. 

The water erased all her aches and pain. The feeling distracted her enough even let a sigh escape. 

Cherry smiled again and flicked some bubbles at her. “Pretty great, yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

“All the way under. Time for a scrub.” 

Cherry knew what she was doing. Her hands were firm and gentle. She made sure Irisa was soaped and cleaned, helping to reach where Irisa couldn’t and then made her lean against edge so she could massage oils into Irisa’s hair. 

“You soak. I’ll find you some clothes,” Cherry said and slipped out. 

Irisa leaned back in the water, supporting herself with her hands so her legs floated. After all the walking, it felt good to be weightless. She closed her eyes. A part of her wanted to staying like this and the other half wanted Cherry to come back. She didn't like being alone anymore. She preferred it to the other option with the cult. Alone then meant no pain, no one asking anything of her. She was learning that not everyone wanted something from her. Well, there were a few people who wanted nothing from her. Nolan, Cherry all the wanted was for her to be okay. 

There were voices in the hall. She couldn't make out the words, but the tone was anger or maybe frustration. They drew close. 

"Just trust me." Cherry. 

"I need to see." Hannah. 

"Leave her alone. I'm taking care of it." 

"The more witnesses the better." 

The door burst open, and both women pushed into the bathroom. Cherry had a fluffy towel and Hannah a folded stack of clothes. They both smiled as if they hadn't just been arguing, arguing about something to do with her. 

Irisa ducked under the water, sending a wave over the edge. The bubbles were gone, so it didn't offer much cover. 

"I found some things that should fit," said Hannah. "Out you get." 

Cherry held open the towel. Irisa had no choice but to get out. She could feel their eyes. Hannah’s jaw was set. Once she was wrapped up, Hannah dropped the clothes and left as suddenly as she had appeared. 

"What did I do?" asked Irisa. 

"You? What? Oh that. She just wanted to check the clothes would fit." 

Irisa didn't believe her, but there was nothing she could do. 

"The man next door has a daughter a little older than you. I bet these are hand-me-downs from her," Cherry said. She was still trying to distract Irisa from whatever had happened with Hannah.

Irisa stayed quiet as she put on the unfamiliar clothing. She was used to not having to give responses. Everything fit fine. A pair of pants with big pockets and a patch on the knee and a t-shirt that was only a little too big. 

“C’mon,” said Cherry after she ran a comb through Irisa’s hair. “Let’s see if we can convince Terik in the kitchen to make us some hot chocolate.” 

* * *

It was later than Nolan would've liked. He bought the fuel and made it back to the roller with no problem. All the stuff was still there too. Even getting back into the city hadn't been a big deal. The trouble had come with selling the roller. 

The thing was huge, a five seater. They needed something smaller with more storage. And something that wasn't stolen. He took longer than expected to find his connections again, but at last he’d traded in the Army’s roller for a sturdy two-seater. The new roller wasn’t anything pretty to look at, but they said good things about the model. There was lots of script left over too. 

He exchanged most of the slick, high-tech Army gear for things that were more basic, more dependable. He’d take Irisa shopping tomorrow. He would get out of his Army uniform and she’d could have whatever she wanted. 

He pushed open the door to Hannah’s place. The sun had set, and the bar crowded now. All the seats along the bar were full as well as the seats at the poker tables. There was a general hum of talk and activity above some Casti music pumping through speakers. Beautiful women weaved their way through the other people, serving drinks and teasing customers. It was his kind of place. 

The scanned the room looking for Irisa. He found her above the crowd. There was an open balcony that led to hotel rooms. At the top of the stairs, they’re legs dangling over the edge were Irisa and Cherry. They were playing some kind of card game. He just watched for a moment as Irisa won a hand and her smile spread across her face. He smiled too despite himself. His world lit up when that girl was happy. 

He shifted his bags so he could wave to catch her attention. She looked up and then really smiled. He took one more step inside that room when something caught him in the throat. The shopping went flying. He slammed against the wall. Before he could even figure out what had happened, he felt a blade against his neck. He saw a Sensoth standing over him before he notice who was holding the knife. Hannah had him pinned. 

Irisa screamed and hurtled down the stairs. Cherry grabbed at the bottom and held her back. Irisa kept fighting. 

“Nolan! Nolan! Let him go!” she yelled as at last the rest of the bar noticed what was happening. 

Everything went still except for the music, which now sang hauntingly over the silence. 

“Stay back!” he called to Irisa. She wasn’t listening. “It’s okay. It’s going to be alright.” 

“Don’t you dare talk to her!” hissed Hannah. She pushed on the blade. The Sensoth took a small step forward. 

“Okay, okay,” he said in a pacifying tone. “What happened?” 

“You know perfectly well!” 

“Lady, I really don’t. Everything was fine when I left. I came back as I said I would. I’m sorry it took a little longer than I anticipated.” 

“You should’ve stayed gone.” 

“Nolan!” Irisa screamed again. 

“Irisa, kiddo, it’s going to be okay. I’ll be right there.” 

“You will not!” Hannah stamped her foot. 

The Sensloth intervened. “You’re causing a sense. Let me take him outside,” he said in a slow, deep voice. He put a large hand on Hannah’s shoulder. “He’ll answer your questions.” 

Hannah let go. Before Nolan could even exhale, the Sensloth had picked him up and carried him through a back entrance. He landed hard on the dirty cement as the Sensoth released him with a casual toss. Hannah stood in the doorway, light from inside sending her into sharp relief. She towered over Nolan from where he was on the ground and twirled the knife in between her fingers. 

He scrambled to his feet and right into the Sensloth’s grip. He pushed Nolan against the wall by the neck again. 

Irisa appeared, shoving Hannah out of the way to try to get to Nolan. Hannah grabbed her by the shoulders. 

She didn’t struggling against Hannah’s arms. “Let him go!” 

“Honey, it’s okay. You don’t have to defend him. You’re safe now,” Hannah said. 

Nolan’s mind was reeling. What in God’s name was he supposed to have done? What had cause Hannah to flip her opinion of him so violently? 

Cherry came running now and Hannah passed the girl over. Irisa started to struggle again. 

“Take her somewhere else,” Hannah said. 

“I am trying,” said Cherry through puffs for breath. Irisa might be small, but she fought hard. 

“Kiddo, just go with her,” Nolan said, though his voice was slightly strangled. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll be there soon.” 

“You will not,” said Hannah slowly and with force. 

“Tell me what I’m supposed to have done!” Nolan yelled. He was getting pissed off now. 

“I saw her! She’s covered in bruises, scars. What did you do to her?” Hannah said, equally loud. 

Nolan understood. The situation was crystal clear. And so was Hannah’s reaction. The anger and pain on her face was old. This had opened up some of her old scars. 

“I didn’t do anything,” he said, all the frustration gone. “I swear it. I swear by any god you want me to. I wasn’t the one who hurt her. I got her out of harm’s way.” 

Hannah didn’t move. 

“Ever heard of the Idaka Church?” 

“No,” snapped Hannah. 

“It’s a crazy cult. The kid’s own parents sold her out. They tortured her. The Army busted up their compound and I got her out. It was only a few weeks ago.”

She looked confused and still angry. Though she didn’t have him released, the pressure lessened a bit. The Sensloth believed him at least. 

“You have to believe me,” he continued. “I would never hurt her. I’d kill anyone who touched her. I will protect her.” 

“I still haven’t heard of that cult,” Hannah said, determined to find something wrong with what Nolan had said. 

“But I have,” said the Sensloth. He let go. 

Nolan took a huge gulp of air and rubbed his throat. He was still looking at Hannah. She still didn’t believe him. 

“I’m sorry for whatever happened to you. But I’m not that man, whoever he was.” 

Cherry let Irisa go. She dashed right to Nolan, wrapped her arms around his waist, and buried her face in his stomach. He had to take a step backwards to keep himself from toppling over. He rubbed her back. 

Hannah frowned. “You’re just like him. You make her think you care.” 

“Don’t say that. I’m not like him. She’s my kid now, ya know? I wouldn’t hurt her and I do care. I gave up everything for this girl. All I want now is for us to be left in peace. Did you ask her? Did she say I hurt her?” 

“He didn’t,” said Irisa. “It wasn’t him. It wasn’t. He didn’t.” 

She was crying. After everything she’d been through, it was just too cruel. How many times had a better life been dangled in front of her and almost snapped away. 

“It’s alright, kiddo,” he said. 

“No! She’s going to take me away. She’s going to keep us apart.” 

Hannah finally seemed to soften. Her shoulders slumped a little. “Honey, I wouldn’t do that. Out here, you stick with your people. If he’s your people, I won’t split you up. I just had to be sure. Good people don’t always last in the New World. You have to be careful.” 

“I appreciate it,” said Nolan. “You were just looking out for my girl. I’m grateful.” 

Hannah sighed. “I’m glad that’s the way you see it. Drinks are on me.” 

“We’ll take a room too if you have it. That I’ll pay for.” 

“Cherry will get you settled. I need a break.” 

Hannah went back inside, looking very much like a woman in need of a break. Cherry smiled at them. She was ready to smooth everything else out. 

“She’s a good woman. She meant well. Like many of us, her past hasn’t been easy,” said the Sensloth. 

“I understand. I’m not upset anymore.” 

“I’ll go check on her,” he said and went back inside. 

“Come with me and I’ll get your room ready,” said Cherry. 

“We’ll be in in a minute,” Nolan said. 

“I can’t promise I’ll be available,” she said with a wink. Yes, ready to do whatever he needed to make him forget about what had happened. 

He waited a few minutes before moving. He sat down on the single step in front of the doorway back into bar. Irisa sat next to him and pushed her was under his arm. 

“Sorry about all that,” he said. “We’ll get away from all this someday. Some beach somewhere. Anywhere just as long as it’s away from all this.” 

“Did you mean it?” she asked shyly. 

“What?” 

“Us?” 

“Yeah, I meant it. If you want.” 

“I do.” 

He kissed the top of her head. “I’d like nothing more than to be your father. I’m going to promise you right now, we’re in this together. It’s dangerous, so there’s one rule: we live or die together.”

“Together?” 

“Until the end.”


End file.
